Our Story - Part 1

Our story is one of dreams lost and dreams found. For those not completely familiar with how, when, where and maybe the whys, I thought it might be nice to share a brief.. well maybe not so brief, story of our love and how it came to be. Although to be honest I feel it was meant to be all along that Alison and I were destined to meet. :) but that's for another post! ;)



In one way our story really begins in August of 2004, when both of our lives were changed in an instant. On literally opposite sides of the world, we both suffered at nearly the same point in time the loss of our spouse. It cant be put into words or expressed how devastating and horrible that moment was when in one instant your spouse of 20+ years is gone. Only those who have sadly experienced it can even begin to understand. But with the loss comes such an overwhelming darkness that you think your life is over as well, and in a way you do die also. You have spent those years raising a family, planning for a future, seeing yourself grow old with the one you love. With their death those dreams are gone overnight, you feel you don't belong in the world anymore, you don't know who you are, you feel your life is over too. Well grief is a terrible thing. It takes a hold of you and drives you to the brink of despair if you let it. And if you let it grow, you will die. Oh I don't want this post to become something sad and depressing, but it has to be said in order to realize how amazing it is for two people who have been through that hell, to find they can love again! :) There's no need to go into detail of the trials we both went through, but it's enough to say that it took a couple of years to come to the point where we we began to seriously have an interest in loving again.



Well I think we both were quite nervous to join these online dating sites at first, well I was never really comfortable on them at all to tell you the truth, there are some strange folks online! :) funny me saying that now considering that is where I met my beautiful Brit! Well anyway it was a way to test the waters , so to speak, and to just get used to the idea that I was "single" :(

I talked to a few people, but you know in the end I was realizing I was just looking for someone to talk to and find someone who knew what it was like to lose a spouse and to share some insight on that.. and yet deep down I was wanting to love again and feel loved too. Oh you never think it could happen again. and I was actually about to give up on the idea of the online sites. I cancelled my memberships actually to the sites. well when I cancelled the last one, a screen popped up asking me to reconsider and if the one I was using wasn't to my liking perhaps I would find one of these more suited... well it must be a lot of them are all owned by the same company as there were all sorts of specialized sites, different locations, different cultures and religions.. etc.. well somehow as I was about to close that page too something caught my eye, well honestly it was more like something caught my hand and made me click on a little link called Christian Mingle. There was a feeling I had too, like I was supposed to be there! I have to add that I have a very firm Faith and believe without a doubt that I was led here, that we both were by the Holy Spirit. God does hear our prayers! He answered both of ours! Oh this is going to be a long story I think! Well I guess it was about a week I was on the site and I had actually met some really nice people, a few widows too that I spoke with several times through the site mail and we shared our stories and experiences, but there was never really any romantic inclination to any of them, more a feeling of kindred spirits or something. And I was about comfortable with just having a friendship or two and get on with life. I remember searching the site for widows specifically once, well there weren't too may of them, especially anywhere near, in fact none of them were near at all, and I remember this one in particular was really nice looking, ;) so I clicked her profile.. well I started reading and she sounded very genuine and I remember thinking I wish she was nearer, then I saw her age was a few years younger than me and I somehow thought she would think I was some just some old guy trying to chat her up or something.. ;) well the site we were on you could send a smile or even write a mail, but I didn't think she would be interested, because of the age and the distance.. And on that site it should be said too that you can see who has looked at your profile.. Well I cant remember now if it was the next day or the day after I got a mail from her saying she was a widow and was interested in talking about our experiences with losing a spouse as our situations with length of marriage and such were very similar. Well to this day I remember so clear the question she asked in that first mail, "would you like to write sometime?" :) Oh you know the moment I opened her mail I felt as though I had known her all my life! There was what I call a silent "thunder" that hit me deep in my soul that day and I knew right that moment this was going to be one special friendship! Well actually I felt something more than friendship right then, but I was scared I think to admit what it really was! But my heart knew it and we started writing that very day, and haven't missed a day since April 5, 2006! :) some days as many as a dozen or more! ...

I will have to continue the story as it's turning out to be rather lengthy.. well stay tuned!

Oh , I happened across this I wrote almost a year ago on another website, just a couple of months after we first "met"

I believe strongly in angels, not only those we think of as having passed on and watching over us, but those people who bring us light, love and happiness where once darkness and sadness reigned. In my case, the angel's name is Alison Michelle.. :) She lives in Cyprus, an island in the Mediterranean, which is appropriately enough the legendary home of Aphrodite, Greek goddess of love! :) Yes, across the Atlantic,far away in distance but near in my heart now, and always.. I've felt it from the first email, and I've come to know it more each day.. Alison Michelle is the One! :) Heaven sent, she has given me life where I thought mine was over, love where I thought all was lost, and longing I thought I would never feel again... I am hers completely, and how wonderful and amazing it feels to say "I love you" again in this life.. I have been blessed twice in this life with a beautiful woman whose love touches the depths of my soul.. I can only thank God, for this was truly a match made in heaven, with helping hands I think from those looking after us ;) Perhaps I shouldn't say too much more, as this is a public site,and I don't know how she would feel seeing such things available for all the world to see.. but to all my friends, know I am a very happy man in love now.. :) G
Posted by garazon on July 7, 2006 07:34 PM ....

check back for more of Our Story soon!
Thanks for reading!